


Abilities Deemed Unnatural

by BurntKloverfield



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Post TROS, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, There are still people in the Galaxy who love Ben, This started out as what if I made TROS worse, then it got a plot bunny, what if Ben survived and couldn't save Rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 15:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurntKloverfield/pseuds/BurntKloverfield
Summary: Post TROS AU where Ben could not save Rey on Exegol. He's left to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 47
Kudos: 62
Collections: I Fixed It: a collection of TROS fix it fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Caution: this one has a lot more angst than what I usually write, but it will have a Happily Ever After.  
> And of course I'm writing something new when I have a dozen and a half other stories I should be writing. I'm sorry!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben couldn't save Rey, and she died on Exegol. He follows the will of the Force and brings her body to the Resistance.

It didn’t work. The Force healing didn’t work. Rey was gone. 

Ben didn't know how long he cradled Rey's lifeless body to his chest. He had failed. He had failed in every capacity, and for the first time in his life, his mind was his own, without another soul. There was no Snoke. There was no Palpatine. There was no Darth Vader. There was no Rey. That was the one that hurt the most. There was no Rey. Their connection had been pure. It had been life itself.

He remembered the day she must have been born. He was about 10 years old, and for the first time in his life, he felt as if there was something out there in the Galaxy that could fill the hole in his soul. Their dyadic connection had given him a purpose, a knowledge that there was something out there for him. He wasn't alone in the Galaxy. And today, he felt that hole open up again. He had lived before her, and he lived on after her, but how he wished he didn't.

It was dark when he stood, Rey cradled in his arms, only illuminated by starlight. The sounds of battle were gone. He was alone on the planet. His Rey had defeated Palpatine, something his Grandfather and Uncle had tried to do but had unknowingly failed in.

He held Rey just the same as he had the first time he had found her on Takodana. Tears fell on her as he made his way back to their ships. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he let the Force guide him. He was too far gone in his grieving.

He tucked her lifeless body away in the cargo of his tie, unable to look at her while he piloted, unable to cradle her as he flew through the dangerous paths away from Exegol, unable to promise her safety if he kept her in the cockpit.

He had a brief thought to return for the lightsabers. They rested on the ground where Rey had dropped them. He had not picked them up. He let them stay there. What good was a saber to him now? What good was the legacy lightsaber? What good was the saber his mother had crafted before having him and abandoning her training? They stayed on Exegol. They belonged to ghosts now.

He let his mind go numb and his hands move on their own as he flew away from that place of death. The Force would guide him.

He set down on a jungle planet, full of Resistance ships coming and going, some First Order ships joining from those fleeing the losing side. He exited the ship, cradling Rey's frigid body in his arms.

She had friends here that would look for her, that would mourn her. They needed the same allowance to grieve.

"Freeze!" a man shouted, and Ben looked up at the Traitor, FN-2187, Finn holding a blaster aimed at his chest.

Ben obeyed, though he couldn't say he had any self-preservation. Let him shoot. Let him end this life. Let him take that shot he could never take back on Jakku in that village.

"Put her down!" Finn ordered. A few other Resistance fighters, Poe Dameron among them, joined Finn, pulling blasters out to train them on the former Supreme Leader.

Ben lowered himself to his knees, and he carefully nestled her body among the green and the plants and the flowers. He stared at her until the pain flooded him again. Tears and sobs tore through his body, and he bent over her, clinging to her wraps and clothing, shaking.

"Finn," he could hear Dameron say, "she's gone..."

The shrieks of pained Shyriiwook rang out through the jungle, shocking Ben to look up at Chewbacca storming through the crowd and undergrowth to them. He prepared himself for more pain, for a missing limb, for roars, for anything except Chewie dragging him into the tightest hug and fat wookie tears tumbling into Ben's hair.

"Lower your blasters," Maz ordered, hobbling alongside Lando Calrissian. "Go on and celebrate. This isn't your concern."

Most left, leaving Finn and Poe lowering their blasters.

"What do you think we should do with him?" Finn asked, his face wet with tears.

"Leave him alone," Lando sighed.

"He's a broken man turning to the light," Maz said. "This war is over. He isn't going back to the First Order. And he certainly doesn't belong to us. Leave him be."

The conversation ended there, and they waited for Ben and Chewbacca's reunion to conclude. Chewbacca was the one to stand first, taking his turn to cradle the lifeless Rey in his arms. Ben stood, eyes red and face wet and soul numb. He followed Chewbacca into the center of the base and into a partial cave that had been turned into... He stopped. His mother's quarters. A few Resistance fighters were paying their respects, but when they saw the wookie, they left, allowing him his mourning. One blonde woman paused when she caught sight of Rey's lifeless face, but that brought tears to her eyes, and she surged outside.

"Master Ben! It has been too long!" C-3P0 greeted. "It is good to see you again. My, have you grown!"

Chewbacca whined at the droids and carefully set Rey down on the floor besides the bed Leia was laid on, still covered in the sheet. Ben ignored the droids and instead went to the wall and lowered himself down to the stone floor besides Rey and his mother.

While the Galaxy rejoiced, those in the cave mourned.

* * *

It was growing dark when their solitude was broken.

Rose Tico paused at the entrance, accompanied by Finn and Poe, all three carrying trays of food.

"Hi, there," she greeted softly, setting the tray down besides Ben on the floor. Finn and Poe followed suit, Poe setting his down in front of Chewbacca. Poe cast a single look around them all and left. Rose disregarded them, still focusing on Ben. "I'm Rose. I...I'm sorry for your loss. I thought you might be hungry."

Ben looked up at her, trying to focus on her face through his tired eyes. "Thank you." His voice was hardly audible.

Rose nodded and looked back at Finn. "He was her friend, too. He was wondering if he could have some time with her?"

Ben looked up to Finn, eyes drilling into his soul. "How long have you known?" he whispered. "How long have you known that you're Force Sensitive?"

Finn glared. "None of your business, Ren."

Ben shook his head as he stood. "It's Ben. Kylo Ren is dead." He was careful not to touch Finn on his way outside.

Rose took the food and stood. "Please don't do anything stupid," she pleaded with Finn, following Ben out.

Finn nodded and knelt beside Rey. They had left her uncovered, and Finn's heart ached at the condition she was in. She was bruised bloody and dirty and pale and cold. He bowed his head for a moment before looking up again and pulling one of the sacred texts from beneath his shirt. He flipped it to the page that C-3P0 had helped translate for him. It was a single section about a Force ability considered unnatural. Finn didn't know what implored him to do this, but he knew he needed to try and to try right then before she was too far gone.

He picked through the strands of the Force he was beginning to recognize, trying to find the one that led to Rey, the one that had seemed to snap the moment she fell dead, the one he felt unravel during the Battle of Exegol.

"What are you doing?" Ben shouted, storming back into the quarters. "She's gone!" He dragged Finn to his feet and gripped Finn's biceps. "Can't you feel that? Can't you feel that she's gone?"

"I'm trying to bring her back," Finn shouted back, yanking himself away.

"You think I didn't try that already?" The pain in his voice shocked Finn.

Finn stooped to swipe up the sacred texts and wave them in Ben's face. "You didn't have these."

"What is that?" Ben rasped, taking it from him. His eyes went wide as he took in the cover. "The ancient sacred texts of the first Jedi," he breathed. "Where did you get this?"

"Rey. And I was about to save her!"

"You'll kill yourself if you try this," Ben groaned, flipping through the pages and scanning the translation that had been supplied by 3P0.

"But can you do it?" Before Ben could answer, Finn continued. "I saw her heal...this giant serpent thing. If she can do that, then someone can heal her?"

"This isn't Force healing. This is bringing her back from the Force. She's dead. She's gone. Into the Force itself."

"Then we can bring her back."

"That's not how the Force works."

"Do you have a better plan, Solo?"

"Did you just call me Solo?"

"Does it matter? We can save her! She doesn't deserve this."

Ben looked back down at the sacred texts in his hands. "Is this where she learned how to heal?"

Finn nodded. "That's where she learned everything."

Ben felt a smile on the corner of his mouth, but he shook his head. "Not everything."

"Let's just bring her back!"

As if the Galaxy were there to simply be contrary in everything, the Force condensed around them, and the once lifeless body of Rey took in a slow deep breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me at PullToTheLight on Tumblr.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey lives, but she’s missing some memories.

The Force pulsed around them as Rey took a breath. 

Both men scrambled to their knees beside her, hovering until her second breath cemented the fact that there was now life in her body. 

“Rey,” Ben pleaded, taking her hand in his. 

Her eyes blinked and focused, and her body drew in another breath. Her head turned towards Ben, taking in his face. She blinked again, recognizing him, and she beamed. 

“Ben,” she said, voice hoarse. 

“Rey!” Finn gasped, setting an excited hand on her knee. “You’re alive!”

Rey struggled to sit up, and Ben immediately helped her, setting a hand on her back. She leaned heavily against him and looked to Finn. She smiled. “I’m alive.” She looked up at Ben. “Where are we?”

“The Resistance base,” he answered. “I thought you were dead. I was bringing you back to your friends.”

Rey looked back to Finn. “It’s so good to see you. I’m so glad you’re alive.”

“Poe! Rose! Chewie!” Finn shouted, rushing outside, leaving Ben and Rey alone for the moment.

Rey looked back up to Ben. “Who is that? I don’t remember him.”

Ben frowned. “Finn.” He searched her face. “Are you alright?”

She nodded. “Sore. Shaken up. Foggy. I don’t really remember...” She frowned. “I don’t know. Things are missing.” She looked up to him. “But I remember you. We’re a dyad. A Force of life itself.” She beamed again and surged up to kiss him. 

Ben couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe she was alive, couldn’t believe she was in his arms, couldn’t believe she was kissing him. When she pulled away, pressing her forehead to his, he smiled for the first time in years. 

They heard running, and they straightened up. Rey looked around Ben to the entryway, but Ben kept his eyes on her. 

“Rey!” And a shout in Shyriiwook greeted them. 

Rey was then caught up in a surge of embraces, and Ben moved out of the way, to let her friends welcome her back to the living. 

“How are you alive?” Finn asked, giving her a squeeze.

Rey shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“What happened? Where did you go after the Endor system?”

Rey blinked and slowly shook her head. “I don’t remember, Finn. I must have hit my head.” She awkwardly touched her head make her point. 

“At least you’re back here with us,” Poe said with a nod. “We have a lot of work to do to rebuild.” He looked back at Ben who was standing over them. “What did happen?”

Ben kept his gaze steady, though the relief of her being back threatened to bring him to tears. “She defeated Palpatine.”

Poe looked him up and down. “And ended up dead with you?” 

“I followed to help her. She defeated him and was dead before I reached her.” He turned his head away. “I was sure she was dead.”

Poe turned back and gestured to the tray of food they had brought earlier. Rose nodded and handed it to Rey. 

“Thank you,” Rey answered and picked up a fruit and took a small clean bite, chewing slowly. 

“Alright, leave her be,” Maz called, coming inside. “She just came back from the dead. She must be exhausted.”

Finn gave her another hug and kissed her forehead. “Let us know if you need anything.”

“I will. Thank you.”

Rey and Ben and Maz watched the rest leave, and Maz came to sit next to Rey.

“It’s so good to see you, Rey.” She lifted her goggles away from her eyes. “We believed you were passed into the Force.”

“I don’t know what happened, but I’m back.”

“It must not have been your time,” Maz nodded, peering at her. 

“We’re a dyad in the Force. Do you know anything about that, Maz?” Ben asked.

Maz nodded. “A legend of two that are one, the embodiment of the Force itself. Life and balance.” She chuckled and looked back up at him. “I knew you had old eyes.” She turned back to Rey. “You’ve been through quite an ordeal.”

Rey nodded. “I’m afraid I don’t remember what happened.”

“It might be for the best.” She stood. “Take care of her, Ben Solo.”

When they were alone again, Ben returned to her side. “What do you remember, Rey?”

“I remember Jakku, and I remember that my parents left me, and I remember my grandfather was looking for me.”

“You remember your grandfather?”

She nodded. “Sheev Palpatine. He wanted me.”

“Do you remember anything that happened on Exegol?”

“Where?”

Ben frowned. “Rey, may I see...? With the Force?”

She cocked her head. “See what?”

“What you remember.”

She nodded slowly and closed her eyes as he raised his hand and hovered it over her forehead.

When he first stepped into her mind, it felt familiar but nothing like Rey. Rey was warm and wild and lonely. This felt cold and empty and calculating. There were no memories or thoughts out in the open like how Rey would have something put on display to keep her mind occupied. Instead, a single memory formed. It was Rey in the arms of a man and a woman escaping into a ship in the middle of a very dark night. One thing stood out more clearly than anything else. This was a memory of someone looking at a sleeping Rey. 

The familiarity clicked into place. 

“Palpatine.”

“I’m Rey Palpatine,” she-or rather he said with her voice.

He pinned her to the floor, hand around her throat, knee on her abdomen. “What did you do to her?” He growled. 

The laugh was Palpatine’s cadence through Rey’s voice, and it chilled Ben’s soul.

Ben squeezed his hand around her throat. 

“I’ve died before,” she rasped. 

“Get away from her!” Finn shouted, already pummeling into Ben. 

His head smacked the stone ground, and Ben’s vision went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi, I’m PullToTheLight on tumblr.
> 
> Comments feed the plot bunnies.


	3. Chapter 3

“Come back! Come back! Be with me! Be with me! Be with me, Ben!” 

Rey’s voice echoed through his fitful dreams. Every time he turned towards her voice, she wasn’t there. 

When Ben opened his eyes, he was cuffed to a bunk in the Millennium Falcon. The pain in his head reminded him of the nightmare he had fallen into. Not the one he had while asleep, but the very real one he was in now that he was awake. He tried to unlatch the handcuffs with the Force, but his head felt foggy, and his muscles felt weak, and he couldn’t quite find his connection to the Force. It reminded him of when he had been sick as a youngling, and his ears had felt clogged, and his hearing had been muffled. His connection to the Force had been muffled. 

Boots sounded on the durasteel floors of the Falcon, and Ben twisted so that he was sitting upright leaning against the bunk instead of slumped on the floor. The door slid open, and Rey Palpatine entered, shutting the door behind her. 

His fury filled him again, and he struggled to tune into the Force and throw Palpatine into the wall, but he was only able to make the hairs framing Rey’s face move as if she were in a gentle wind. 

“Calm down, my boy,” Palpatine scolded in Rey’s voice. She had changed into clothes that were wholly foreign for Rey to wear. They were dark. She wore no wraps. Instead, she wore a long dark tunic over plain leggings and high boots. “You’re safe here. The whole Resistance wants to kill you. They’re afraid of you.” She laughed. “I’ve made sure you’re no threat,” she gestured to the cuffs. “Muffles everything, don’t they?”

Ben pursed his lips.

“Don’t be like that. It’s such a shame you discovered it was me so quickly. I was planning on letting you have your domestic little life, for a while, until I could meld that mighty Skywalker blood with the mighty Palpatine line. I’ve died before, and I’ll die again.”

Terror seized Ben’s heart. What if he hadn’t discovered Palpatine? He would have asked Rey to marry him and to travel the Galaxy with him and to share a home and a bed, and ultimately, Palpatine would have destroyed him for it. Palpatine would have used his greatest happinesses as steps in his own devious plans. 

Palpatine chuckled. “No matter. You’re at my disposal now. I begged them not to kill you for your crimes. Your mighty Skywalker blood is still useful to me.” He paced away from Ben to idly examine a patch in the wall. “They trust me as the last Jedi. That dashing Dameron seems to want my assistance in implementing a republic or a senate or a new intergalactic government to replace my First and Final Order.” He turned back with a smirk. “And that friend of hers, that Finn, he’s Force-sensitive. He revealed it to me as if it was some big secret.” He easily fell into a squat, laughing. “Oh, it is good to have a young body again, so full of life.” He returned his gaze to Ben. “He took me aside and said that he needed to tell me something, something that he should have told me long ago, something he was going to tell me before they were swallowed up by quicksand. I nearly thought the poor boy was going to confess his love. When it was simply that he was Force-sensitive, I laughed.” He tilted Rey’s head. “I offered to be his teacher.” He chuckled down at the floor and back up to Ben. “I’m not entirely sure he isn’t smitten with Rey.”

Ben closed his eyes again. This wasn’t Rey, certainly not the Rey he himself had fallen in love with. This was the monster that had plagued his mind since before he was born. He knew what buttons to press and how to goad every rogue emotion and tender wound. He would not let him toy with his soul anymore. 

“Come now. You should be happy! I’ve breathed new life into the girl!” 

Ben opened his eyes, keeping his disgust and hatred behind the carefully cultivated mask he had learned to use in front of Snoke. “You’re a walking corpse.”

Palpatine laughed. “Clever words. You sound so much like your mother.” He raised her hand in thought. “They’re having her funeral tonight, hers and those lost on Exegol. They’re debating whether you’ll be allowed there or not.” He went to the door, and it slid open. “I said that you’re far too unstable to attend.”

Rey Palpatine left the quarters, boots clacking on the durasteel flooring.

Ben slumped again, noticing the numbness in his hands from them being held above his head. Tears threatened to escape his eyes until heavy footsteps approached, followed by another set of boots and a hobbled limp.

The door slid open again, and Chewbacca entered, quietly whining about how he knew something was off with Rey. He released Ben’s wrists and wrapped him in another tight embrace. 

“How long until takeoff?” Rose asked behind them, shifting the box in her arms.

“The sooner we leave, the better,” Maz agreed. 

“What are you doing?”

“Rey was acting strange,” Rose supplied. “I heard her say things she would have never said. And I followed her here and listened in, and decided I needed to do something. I was just going to get these that Rey’s been studying for months, ran into Maz on the way back. Chewie was planning on leaving with you anyways.”

Chewie nodded eagerly, waving for him to follow, stating that he needed a copilot. 

Ben scrambled to his feet to follow. He stopped at Rose and nodded. “Thank you.”

“I’m just saving what I love.”

Ben tilted his head and let the corner of his mouth turn up in a partial smile. “Saving what you love.”

Rose nodded and set the box of sacred texts in the bunk. “That’s how we win.”


	4. Chapter 4

Ben let his hands go on autopilot as he co-piloted with Chewie. It had been so long since he had been on the Millennium Falcon, let alone flown it, but it still was second nature.

Chewbacca told him that it was good to have him back.

Ben looked up at his uncle and nodded. “Where are we going?” 

Chewie roared about how they were headed to Takodana for Maz, unless Ben had a place he needed to be.

Ben shook his head and stared back out at the stars.

They fell into silence until Rose came into the cockpit.

"Hey, I brought those texts that Rey's been reading on board. I thought you might want to look at them?" She quirked her head at Ben, judging how he was handling everything.

He nodded and stood to follow Rose back out into the common area with the Dejarik table.

"I think there's one missing, but the rest of them are here," she told him, showing the box that held the books. "She read these every chance she got. Whenever she wasn't out training. I'm no translator, and there's not very much in basic, but you'll probably be able to do more with these than I will."

Ben picked one up and flipped through it, nodding. "Thank you."

She nodded back. She set a hand on his arm. "I can't pretend to know what you've been through, but if you need someone to talk sad to, I can be a listener..." She frowned and looked away at her poor phrasing. "Talk sad to..."

"That's thoughtful," he told her, nodding.

She nodded and let her hand drop. "So, Rey didn't win on Exegol, did she?"

"I thought she did," Ben said, putting the book back into the cargo box. "Palpatine's body was destroyed. Rey's was dead. He must have been able to transfer his life force." He looked up at her face.

"That's terrifying." She sat down on the bench. "I thought this war was over."

Ben sighed. "We all hoped."

"So, you're not going to try to become the supreme emperor over the Galaxy, are you?"

Ben laughed, making Rose jump. "Sorry, no, I don't want that." He looked back to the books. "I thought it was a way to win Rey over. In the end, she only wanted me."

Rose nodded. "What are you going to do?"

Ben shook his head. "I don't know."

"Are you going to try to defeat Palpatine?"

Ben looked up at her, staring back at him with flickers of hope in her eyes. "Rey would still be gone."

"You really loved her."

"I do."

Rose nodded. "It feels wrong. I feel like everyone should be mourning her, but they're celebrating along with her instead."

As the words hit him, he found his body shaking and tears forming in his eyes.

"Ben," Maz greeted, coming into the common area. "You look like you need some rest."

He didn't respond immediately, but eventually, he nodded and stood.

"Don't worry. We'll be here."

Ben tried to smile, the pain still radiated through his soul.

* * *

"Be with me. Be with me. Be with me."

Ben spun around, trying to pinpoint where her voice was coming from.

At last, with a turn, she came into view. She was dressed as he had first met her, tan clothing, flowing wrappings, worn fabric. She was hovering, legs folded and eyes closed, but what hurt was that her arms were wrapped around herself, and as she continued her chanting, she rocked against herself. She seemed so very small against the vastness of stars behind her.

"I'm here!"

Her eyes flew open and focused on him. Her mouth opened in disbelief, but she was promptly scrambling towards him. "Ben!"

He tried to move towards her, and that's when it sunk in that this was a dream. He wasn't conscious, but that didn't mean that it wasn't real. He focused and reached out his hand towards her. She surged forward, took his hand, and stumbled into his chest. He threw his arms around her, trying to feel her through the Force.

He found her. Her signature fluttered in his arms, warm and relieved. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know. I don't know where I am. I've been all alone for so long!"

His heart broke for her, and he rubbed her back, trying to memorize how she felt in his embrace.

"Did we win?" she whispered. "Is Palpatine gone?"

"No."

The answer settled into her mind, and then she screamed into his chest, clutching at his shirt.

* * *

It startled him awake, bringing him back to his bunk in the Millennium Falcon. Sitting up, he looked at his hands where he had been holding Rey. It had been her signature. He was really speaking to her. She was out there, somewhere in the Force, she had to be.


	5. Chapter 5

Rey Palpatine stood side by side with Finn and Poe, staring into the fire engulfing the body of Leia Organa. There was a solemn hush over the congregation, but there was a surge of joy in his chest at seeing the final demise of such a large nuisance being done away with at last. The attendees began to share stories with each other, and Palpatine took his leave.

Finn chased after her, catching her hand. "Hey, are you doing okay?" he asked.

Palpatine nodded and flashed a smile. "I'm alive. There's hope."

Finn tugged her into a hug. "I'm so glad we all survived this."

She squeezed him in return. "We have a long way to go."

"We're just rebuilding. It's not a new war. We get to make things how we want, create new governments, change things."

"Yes we do." She patted his back and pulled away. "Get some rest."

* * *

"You threw your lightsaber into the middle of an ocean," Maz repeated, staring at Ben from across the Dejarik table.

"I'm sure it doesn't mean anything to you that it was Kylo Ren's."

Maz chuckled and shook her head. "And Luke's saber is sitting on the floor of a cave on Exegol? Do you know how long I watched over that weapon?"

"I had just lost the other half of my soul, Maz. I wasn't exactly in the clearest headspace."

She laughed again. "I'm not blaming you. In fact, it is probably for the best. It's time for you to start building up your own life, and creating yourself a new lightsaber is the first step in that."

His eyes dropped to the playing table, and he let his thoughts run their course. When he had become Kylo Ren, he had created a new saber from the old. Now, he must create one that was really his own, really one for himself. The Galaxy was still in danger, and the only people who knew were on this ship.

"I think I have some of your things back at my castle."

He looked up at her with a dubious raised eyebrow. "What would you have that was mine?"

"Like I said, I watched over that saber for years. It wasn't the only thing. Your calligraphy set. Some clothing. A compass."

"A compass? Luke's star compass?"

"The very same, I believe."

He nodded. "I was helping him decipher where it led."

"Where did you think it leads to?"

"Places strong in the Force. Did he give you these things after...?"

"He did, before he left into exile. He blamed himself, you know? That you fell."

Ben shook his head. "I heard his voice on Exegol, speaking to Rey. I heard so many voices." And he had been thrown into a pit. He looked down at himself. He remembered pain and broken bones and injuries. He still had a few healing cuts and bruises, but his leg was no longer in pain, and he only had soreness otherwise.

"But they didn't speak to you?"

Ben shook his head. "The only voice I've ever had in my head was Palpatine." He leaned forward, putting his forehead in his palms. "And I thought he'd been defeated. Rey gave her life to destroy him. And he's still here."

"Is he still speaking to you?"

Ben searched out the edges of his mind where Palpatine, Snoke, Darth Vader, whomever he was pretending to be had laid in wait. He frowned. There wasn't the darkness he expected. There wasn't Palpatine's tendrils. There wasn't another person's thoughts or emotions influencing him. There wasn't another's consciousness crowding him inside his own head. "He's not there. Not inside my mind." He looked up at Maz, letting his hand lower to the table. "I don't remember being so alone in my mind."

Maz smiled and quirked her head. "You're not alone. Leia knew that she was going, and when she left, she went to you." She waved away his question. "When she went into the Force, she left to protect you." She raised her goggles from her eyes and squinted at him. "She's protecting you from Palpatine." She gave a chuckle. "And Luke. And a man named Anakin Skywalker, if you believe it. They're there, much quieter, all around you. You have an army on your side, but you don't need people speaking to you. You need your mind clear, because when you don't have someone else's words bouncing around your head, you will make the right choices. You belong to the Light, Ben Solo. You always have. The Dark has wanted you for its own your entire life. You have everyone vying for your soul, on every side. In the end, those in the Force are protecting you, but not by trying to influence you. They're letting you choose for yourself."

Tears had found their way to Ben's cheeks. In this very quiet moment, he felt them, everyone around him. His mother's presence. His uncle's. His grandfather's. Other signatures in the Force that he remembered, students from Luke's training temple, Voe and Tai, and those stronger in the Force, great Masters he had never met, his namesake. All around him. And within him was the greatest peace he had ever felt, because he now knew that he could choose, that he could make his choices, and they would matter.

* * *

Rey Palpatine looked around at the faces in the meeting. Many were ones that were new, young faces hiding horror stories from a lifetime filled with war, but he knew a few faces, that Lando Calrissian, Commander D'acy. He felt confident now that he knew so many of those who remembered him were gone, leaving those who were too naive with hope to see that darkness still existed to build up a new government. He would build up his new government just how he wanted, one that would have no weaknesses, one that he would rule with an iron fist for millennia. 

"How are we supposed to unite the Galaxy when there's still all of the systems of the First Order in place?" the little Force Sensitive trooper asked, that Finn, whom Palpatine planned on training himself.

"The First Order is a military organization with a clear organization and authority hierarchy," Palpatine explained. "It would not have been able to spread so wide or so far if it did not have such a clear organization. If we were able to build onto that scaffolding, we would be able to use it as a jumping off point."

"But we would have to weed out all the current leadership and anyone still holding sympathies," Poe Dameron mused, one hand akimbo at his waist and the other massaging his jaw. He paced in the open center.

"They are a still a formidable military organization," a Resistance fighter, Beaumont Kin, insisted. He had tried to speak with Rey earlier, but it had been a short conversation as so many people needed her attention. He had introduced himself as something of a historian. Palpatine thought that the man spoke too much. "We may have won the war, and they may be without a leader, but there are still so many people that are loyal to their cause."

"Then we show that we are a noble cause to follow," Palpatine supplied and continued into a speech urging them to take action to use the organization that the First Order already had in place. It felt so good and so natural to be back into the political game.

* * *

Poe Dameron caught Rey's arm as she was heading away from the meeting. "Can I speak to you?"

Palpatine nodded. "Of course."

"Look, I know that we butt heads more than we agree, but people listen to you. We need a poster child," he let go of her arm and gestured towards her, "a figurehead. I was the poster boy for years. I've got a couple of them if you want to see. Got a lot of good fighters into the Resistance because of them. But you've got the presence. You've got the reputation. You've got the lightsaber." He frowned, stepping back to find that she wasn't wearing a belt or harness or weapon. "Or you did. Where's your lightsaber?"

She frowned, looking down herself. "I don't know. I haven't had a use for it since Exegol." She folded her arms across her chest. "I'll have to build a new one."

"You can do that?" Poe asked, impressed.

She nodded. "I'll just need a kyber crystal, but I think I know where I can find those." She looked back up at Dameron and put her hands to her waist. "But you want me to be your propaganda?"

Poe grinned. "If you're willing, more than that. You're a Jedi. People will listen to you. I'm no politician. You have a presence and the Force. You're not just the hero of this war. You are an icon of hope, just like Leia was."

"I think I'll take you up on that, Dameron," she said with a smile and a nod.

Poe nodded in returned, then shuffled his feet. "Hey, uh, so, Finn told you what he wanted to tell you? Back from the sinking field on Pasaana?"

She let out a laugh. "He did. He's Force Sensitive."

The knowledge processed in his mind, and his eyes lit up. "Is he really?"

"He is. I can tell. That's why we've been drawn to each other."

His face fell. "So you two are..." He tilted his head and moved his eyes to the side before looking back at her.

"I don't know. I don't know what we are." Her shoulders softened. "I know I'm still missing some memories. Whatever happened on Exegol really knocked my mind loose."

He put his thumbs through his belt loops and looked down at the ground. "You weren't anything before, not officially, if that helps you." He looked up at her. "But do you? Want to be something with him, I mean?"

"I don't know yet," she said with a growing smirk. "But it sounds like you're interested."

"In Finn? Of course I am!"

Her eyes grew wide. "Oh! In Finn?"

"Yeah! We're an amazing team and great friends. He's so good," he said wistfully, his words finally failing him.

"You're interested in Finn and not me?"

He chuckled. "I thought you'd be relieved at that. You're a firecracker, Rey. You're a fantastic gal, but I don't think I can handle you." He shuffled again. "But if you do want to go after Finn, I'll let you. I already know you can take me down. And the entire time I've known Finn, he's been chasing after you. So if you do want to be something with him, he'd love to." He looked back towards one of the bonfires that was going up now that the evening was in full swing, and another night of celebration was about to begin. "And I guess I've got an old flame that I should pay attention to." His eyes followed a masked woman joining the group around the bonfire. He turned his attention back to Rey and reached out to pat her bicep. "Why don't you go let him know. It'd be good for him." He saluted to her and bounded down to the bonfire.

Palpatine watched the celebration for a moment before leaving towards the outskirts of the base where the ships were. He reached the clearing where the Millennium Falcon had been. An animal wandered through the clearing, looking at Palpatine, freezing and reflecting light in its eyes, and then scampering off into hiding. When he turned away, a circle of dead plant life marked where he had stood. 

**Author's Note:**

> Looking for more? Check out my [profile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurntKloverfield/profile) or my [Reylo Ficlets.](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ReyloFiclets)


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